There are moments we may look back and feel that the frame we were born in with was too unfair or unjust. I can look back and say, that even with my baggage and experiences, I transcended out of the frame I was given. I did not only survive. Surviving is a great and important step, but it remains with us as if the link to the past memory or act is yet to be healed. Transcending is recognizing and healing that link, and go on in each moment of Now, NOT recreating emotional patterns that we were once given, but judge our reality as if it is completely new. To take away the automatic responses we once fired in our brains, and realize that these things that happened are not defining who we are. They are tools to use to sculpture the reality of who we are.

We have so many frames. ‘Me’ frame, ‘Reality’ frame, ‘Family’ frame, ‘Worth’ frame. And each of these frames come with us and will be all we know until we reach outside these boxes and realizes what lies outside as gifts and encouragements. So that the frame can break and the world can be allowed to be greater. Outside lies the opportunities and possibilities that we can realize that we are unlimited. We are Greater than we can imagine. We are worthy more than what has ever been given us. We are MORE. HIGHER. GREATER.

We are Worthy.

I was born through fear and unworthiness and came through sexual/emotional/physical abuse. These experiences don’t affect me in a limited way today. They don’t define me, they helped me transcend to a state of Mind of Love, actually. They are mountains I climbed and exceeded. They are frames I broke and left behind. They are connections to my past that I have left and healed. I am not my experiences. I am, what I think I am.

I am my Thoughts.

So, any of you. Think yourself better. Think yourself worthy. Think yourself great. You are all of these things. I can See it, I will embrace it.

I will witness it.

No, it isn’t easy. No, it isn’t something that just happen. No, it isn’t painless. But it is – most importantly – doable.

Much much Love to each and every one of you.

I BELIEVE in your ability to Rise.

I wasn't sure how to live my life beautifully, until I realized life IS the beauty I need to inhale and exhale to experience. Not only beauty AROUND me in things and colors and patterns, but in the vaves and lines and air. To embrace it in my thoughts and my words in order to allow myself to BE in it. To be worthy of it. To express it rather than savor it to myself.  I LOVE beauty, not because it is a thing, but because it is an inevitable need to my soul, and it is a Greatness I have touched and never want to be without. It is an emotional wave of immense love and light. It's not clothes, things or weight. It's not expressed by make-up, trendy clothes or new hairstyles. It is an emotional soul-reviving sensation that engulfs my being and is only shared it it's TRUE light.

I woke up this morning and turned to see the most beautiful of men next to me. Because in between us there are waves and communication in pure love and honesty. He is beauty to me by the refinement of his being. The gentleness he touch me with, the smiles he gives me, the words he stumbles on when there are not enough words. The laughters and the love but also the sorrow. I find him to be even so more beautiful in his passion, in his moments of vulnerability. In the next moment he is absolutely astounding when he is strong. I love him because of everything he represents. He IS. 

And he chose to live with Me. Share with me. Allow it to be a give and take.

THAT is beauty, and I am living it. Every Day.

Skye

So Life is playing a different tune for me nowadays. Again, changes. I believe I somewhere wrote about Changes and I continue to find my life in ever motion. My Mind is screaming because I am now FORCED to take a leap. I could have done it earlier and the change would be nothing, however obviously, I have to declare DEFEAT and then... wait.

Jump?

Somewhere you declare defeat and should JUMP to take a leap, but for me, I have created a solid ground for the future, somewhat consciously so the jump is nothing, but subconsciously I played a prank on myself. I can't see the road ahead so I have to wait.

And people who knows me understand my creeping-in-frustration Self when I have to wait. Impatient is an understatement. I want to go go go and get shit done. And my head says SURE! Let's DO it. And my body goes numb. "Forget it, I need to REST!"

My Soul says nothing but is humming to the music. It's giggling to my childish "throwing-a-fit" mode that I am in at the moment. I didn't change the tune, I didn't say it was time to dance. I am in no control and I don't like it.

But I  T R U S T  it.   

Love.

I grew up in places with history and souls. Walls containing tons of memories, and pathways have millions of steps walked before. I guess I’m just one of those who can note those intangible prints, and live with it without going crazy. However, I’m sure for some, my explanation of me would be considered crazy [smiles]

My whole Being is constant. I don’t shut my senses off. I don’t hide. I don’t pretend. So every day is open, loving, true, honest; tough like treading through mud; it’s sometimes painful, heavy and cornered with anxiety because some things are out of own control. Some things cannot be changed.

While people now and again try to fool me, lie to me, test me; and I show, question, say and exceed the expectations.. All things combined, I’m sure, is scary for some thus leaving me on a long road with few and far in between that completely understand and that is not running away from..me..

Obviously I don’t consider myself “normal”. I don’t always know exact things (because I’m not all-knowing  ) I ‘know’ close enough to question. That is not a ‘normal’ occurrence, I realize this, however for me it is a normal flow of everyday life. I wouldn’t want it any other way. I rather carry stones that are larger and heavier, but I know them, than me free from carrying anything, and live in hypocrisy of my existence.

I have never even attempted to explain ‘how’ it occurs to me. Never, because it’s .. different. People rarely listen enough to comprehend. Most times communications are self serving. They need my help. So I give, believing that one day, someone will give back. I give because I want to.

I know who people I connect to are talking to/emailing/commit to. I sense thoughts/motives, the other persons thoughts and intent, and I ‘see’ the end result. I play dumb in order to stay in line.

I “hear” thoughts. It’s not voices, and no I’m not mentally ill  It’s a combination of connection, energy, frequency, and vibration of thought patterns and sounds. Thoughts are just as valid as actions, even if people don’t think so generally. But for me there is no difference. Intent is the ‘judge & doer’. The intent sets the cause and effect. The intent of any thought/action also creates the consequence of the thought/action. Thus Intent is the important Essence in any communication (physical, spiritual, emotional).

The combo creates a vague sound that I guess could equal a voice. If concentrating on that sound, I sometimes know what someone types, as if they read it out loud. Other times I see it as a  written letter before me. A rolling text screen. All that is based on my own well-being. If focused enough, no problem.

Warnings ring in one ear, information rings in the other. That helps me determine course of action. Warnings makes me aware that if the pattern continues this way, “this” will happen. Information is more a heads up; cannot be changed but I have a sense of the outcome and can somewhat prepare for it. Weird? I guess. But absolutely comfortable and safe.

I feel the intensity and intent as energy waves through me, and that in combination of what I said before (‘hearing’ and ‘seeing’) creates a picture. All senses are in as well. I taste the intent (sweet or bitter) physically in my mouth if the situation is intense enough.

So.. Thoughts, emotions, motives, next step. Surely that’s scary for people to interact with. I understand that.. [sighs]

And outside of that, it’s the normal small things. Say things as answers before people ask, call right when they are about to call me, fetch people in situations if that is on my path as if it was meant to happen. Right person in the right place at the right time.

I See, but far from every time I see, I Say. Most times it’s kept until the person is “ready” by situation or choice.. other times its never said at all. That’s what I carry.

For me it all became a choice. Not the power but the usage of it. I don’t help people if I’m not ok (unless emergency) because of the risk to draw energy instead of giving energy. I don’t tell people answers to their questions unless I’m Clear Sighted.. So if my vision is clouded (I’m sad, angry or stressed) the visions would easily be negative in energy and since we create reality, I don’t want to create negative patterns or negative happenings for people.

My path has been interesting. I rarely ever speak of it.. Because it’s different and if people can’t handle my normal every day life me, then how to handle where I’ve been or what I know? I’m not special, I’m not weird. I’m just on a path and thats it. I’m me.

After years of interacting with secret groups, priesthoods, open practicing groups, own studies through spirituality, philosophies and religions; trips and travels across the planet to experience it all as well; I ended up being initiated into a large Druid Order in 1999, being the 3rd woman ever to be initiated into the priesthood. Then I realized something interesting.. [smiles]

It was all too limited.

I know secrecy is many times needed for things to not get out of hand. But I know more.. So what does THAT mean?

I left. I found the reason why I all the time felt limited even in said *unlimited* groups. I ended up finding the rituals to be limited. Why use middle hands? Why have gods who represent attributes one may not have but want to have – instead of finding means to learn and grow to HAVE those attributes (Strength, Courage, Love, Knowledge.. and all the things that gods and goddesses many times present).

To show devotion to something higher is one thing.

To show devotion on a daily basis that KEEPS you as a “smaller” being, is another thing.

‘You can never reach divinity in yourself unless you have god/gods to pray/devote to!’

Excuse me? Of course I can. Watch me unfold 

Epicurus once said: “It is folly for a man to pray to the gods for that which he has the power to obtain by himself.”

And that’s it.

That is EXACTLY it,
for me.

♥

Skye

Bilden ovan är på Slottet dit vi flyttar om 40 dagar. Denna bilden är tagen 1904. Stenvalvsbron som man ser till höger byggdes i början av 1700-talet och revs i början på 1900-talet och ersattes av en liknande bro som finns idag..

Jag har spenderat dagen idag med att leta historia på "Slottet" vi ska flytta in i. Det har inte varit lätt men med hjälp av underbara Internet och digitala arkiv av tidningar från 1800-talet och så klart andra människors passion för att föra information vidare i text och bild så vet jag nu att "Slottet" som det kallas byggdes 1891 och området stod färdigt 1896. Slottet byggdes som en disponentvilla och den första disponenten hette Jöns Persson och var en hög politiker i Kävlinge; "Kjeflinge" på den tiden. Han bodde faktiskt där i 40 år.

Idag är "Slottet" indelat i lägenheter - 4 st i byggnaden med torn, var vi kommer att bo i den största. Vi längtar allihop!

Dennis berättade om en kvinna som i mitten på 1900-talet dränkte sin dotter i ån nedanför "Slottets" område. Hemsk historia men spännande efterföljande minnen..

Spökena... Here we come!

Skye 

Lillplutten har fått blodöra! Som han kämpat med dessa jäkla infektioner i öronen och olika behandlingar och utredningar och nu.. Början till blodöra som nog går tillbaka av sig själv. Veterinären skrev ut både droppar, kortison och så fick han spruta när vi var där i eftermiddags..

Vår underbart vackra 3 åriga Berner Senner / Golden retriever mix.. Finns ingen gladare och kelnare hund på denna planeten  

Allas favorit! Med all rätt!    

Jag tror inte människor förstår den nystart jag står inför. Jag skulle kunna säga att jag knappt gör det själv men det vore lite av en lögn. Det är så mycket som händer att man knappt kan få in det i ord, och stannar jag upp swirlar det fortfarande runt.

Jag har vetat detta länge, länge.

Nystarten involverar alla plan av min existens. Bara DET känns som ett hedrande till allt jag gjort fram tills nu.

Den är fysisk där jag mått bra, sen dåligt, varit frisk och sjuk och sjukare och nu.. friskare. Men även fysisk i form av flytt till slottet och en 32 årig dröm kommer till uppfyllelse. Förändringar på jobbet. Förändringar i familjen.. Bröllopet nästa år.

Den är känslomässig; att balansera grundläggande överlevnadsinstinkt med ödmjukhet och tålamod och inte minst kärlek. Inte bara inom mig men även runt om mig. MInnen som helats och situationer som förändrats. Ett nytt ställningstagande - mot andra, mot främmande, mot mig själv. Ett givande och tagande i "ny" anda. Ni ska få se..

Den är spirituell med allt vad det innebär. Jag kan få dela med mig, inte bara lite här och där men i större skala.. MYCKET större skala. Det jag tänker, kan och vill; i skrift men också i handlingar och saker. Kreativitet i ny version - iallafall för mig.

Nystart med allt vad det innebär, alltså.

Äntligen!

Skye