I grew up in places with history and souls. Walls containing tons of memories, and pathways have millions of steps walked before. I guess I’m just one of those who can note those intangible prints, and live with it without going crazy. However, I’m sure for some, my explanation of me would be considered crazy [smiles]

My whole Being is constant. I don’t shut my senses off. I don’t hide. I don’t pretend. So every day is open, loving, true, honest; tough like treading through mud; it’s sometimes painful, heavy and cornered with anxiety because some things are out of own control. Some things cannot be changed.

While people now and again try to fool me, lie to me, test me; and I show, question, say and exceed the expectations.. All things combined, I’m sure, is scary for some thus leaving me on a long road with few and far in between that completely understand and that is not running away from..me..

Obviously I don’t consider myself “normal”. I don’t always know exact things (because I’m not all-knowing  ) I ‘know’ close enough to question. That is not a ‘normal’ occurrence, I realize this, however for me it is a normal flow of everyday life. I wouldn’t want it any other way. I rather carry stones that are larger and heavier, but I know them, than me free from carrying anything, and live in hypocrisy of my existence.

I have never even attempted to explain ‘how’ it occurs to me. Never, because it’s .. different. People rarely listen enough to comprehend. Most times communications are self serving. They need my help. So I give, believing that one day, someone will give back. I give because I want to.

I know who people I connect to are talking to/emailing/commit to. I sense thoughts/motives, the other persons thoughts and intent, and I ‘see’ the end result. I play dumb in order to stay in line.

I “hear” thoughts. It’s not voices, and no I’m not mentally ill  It’s a combination of connection, energy, frequency, and vibration of thought patterns and sounds. Thoughts are just as valid as actions, even if people don’t think so generally. But for me there is no difference. Intent is the ‘judge & doer’. The intent sets the cause and effect. The intent of any thought/action also creates the consequence of the thought/action. Thus Intent is the important Essence in any communication (physical, spiritual, emotional).

The combo creates a vague sound that I guess could equal a voice. If concentrating on that sound, I sometimes know what someone types, as if they read it out loud. Other times I see it as a  written letter before me. A rolling text screen. All that is based on my own well-being. If focused enough, no problem.

Warnings ring in one ear, information rings in the other. That helps me determine course of action. Warnings makes me aware that if the pattern continues this way, “this” will happen. Information is more a heads up; cannot be changed but I have a sense of the outcome and can somewhat prepare for it. Weird? I guess. But absolutely comfortable and safe.

I feel the intensity and intent as energy waves through me, and that in combination of what I said before (‘hearing’ and ‘seeing’) creates a picture. All senses are in as well. I taste the intent (sweet or bitter) physically in my mouth if the situation is intense enough.

So.. Thoughts, emotions, motives, next step. Surely that’s scary for people to interact with. I understand that.. [sighs]

And outside of that, it’s the normal small things. Say things as answers before people ask, call right when they are about to call me, fetch people in situations if that is on my path as if it was meant to happen. Right person in the right place at the right time.

I See, but far from every time I see, I Say. Most times it’s kept until the person is “ready” by situation or choice.. other times its never said at all. That’s what I carry.

For me it all became a choice. Not the power but the usage of it. I don’t help people if I’m not ok (unless emergency) because of the risk to draw energy instead of giving energy. I don’t tell people answers to their questions unless I’m Clear Sighted.. So if my vision is clouded (I’m sad, angry or stressed) the visions would easily be negative in energy and since we create reality, I don’t want to create negative patterns or negative happenings for people.

My path has been interesting. I rarely ever speak of it.. Because it’s different and if people can’t handle my normal every day life me, then how to handle where I’ve been or what I know? I’m not special, I’m not weird. I’m just on a path and thats it. I’m me.

After years of interacting with secret groups, priesthoods, open practicing groups, own studies through spirituality, philosophies and religions; trips and travels across the planet to experience it all as well; I ended up being initiated into a large Druid Order in 1999, being the 3rd woman ever to be initiated into the priesthood. Then I realized something interesting.. [smiles]

It was all too limited.

I know secrecy is many times needed for things to not get out of hand. But I know more.. So what does THAT mean?

I left. I found the reason why I all the time felt limited even in said *unlimited* groups. I ended up finding the rituals to be limited. Why use middle hands? Why have gods who represent attributes one may not have but want to have – instead of finding means to learn and grow to HAVE those attributes (Strength, Courage, Love, Knowledge.. and all the things that gods and goddesses many times present).

To show devotion to something higher is one thing.

To show devotion on a daily basis that KEEPS you as a “smaller” being, is another thing.

‘You can never reach divinity in yourself unless you have god/gods to pray/devote to!’

Excuse me? Of course I can. Watch me unfold 

Epicurus once said: “It is folly for a man to pray to the gods for that which he has the power to obtain by himself.”

And that’s it.

That is EXACTLY it,
for me.

♥

Skye

Bilden ovan är på Slottet dit vi flyttar om 40 dagar. Denna bilden är tagen 1904. Stenvalvsbron som man ser till höger byggdes i början av 1700-talet och revs i början på 1900-talet och ersattes av en liknande bro som finns idag..

Jag har spenderat dagen idag med att leta historia på "Slottet" vi ska flytta in i. Det har inte varit lätt men med hjälp av underbara Internet och digitala arkiv av tidningar från 1800-talet och så klart andra människors passion för att föra information vidare i text och bild så vet jag nu att "Slottet" som det kallas byggdes 1891 och området stod färdigt 1896. Slottet byggdes som en disponentvilla och den första disponenten hette Jöns Persson och var en hög politiker i Kävlinge; "Kjeflinge" på den tiden. Han bodde faktiskt där i 40 år.

Idag är "Slottet" indelat i lägenheter - 4 st i byggnaden med torn, var vi kommer att bo i den största. Vi längtar allihop!

Dennis berättade om en kvinna som i mitten på 1900-talet dränkte sin dotter i ån nedanför "Slottets" område. Hemsk historia men spännande efterföljande minnen..

Spökena... Here we come!

Skye 

Lillplutten har fått blodöra! Som han kämpat med dessa jäkla infektioner i öronen och olika behandlingar och utredningar och nu.. Början till blodöra som nog går tillbaka av sig själv. Veterinären skrev ut både droppar, kortison och så fick han spruta när vi var där i eftermiddags..

Vår underbart vackra 3 åriga Berner Senner / Golden retriever mix.. Finns ingen gladare och kelnare hund på denna planeten  

Allas favorit! Med all rätt!    

Tidigare i kväll träffades vi hemma hos oss för lite psykometri, snack och trevligt sällskap. Att min väninna Lisa kunde träna sina förmågor och komma över sitt dåliga självförtroende var faktiskt riktigt roligt. Psykometri innebär att man avläser ett föremåls historia genom att röra vid det.. Människor kan mer än de tror och om man skapar rätt atmosfär kan nästan vem som helst stoppa tårna i grytan och få till sig otrolig information som de "omöjligt" kan veta. Detta erfarade både Lisa och mina kusiner. Vi använde fotografier på människor som den andra inte kände till och lyssnade spänt på den oftast helt korrekta information som flödade igenom. Både Dennis och Jessica borde få en eloge för detta! Bra jobbat!

Att både jag och Lisa sakta men säkert knyter ihop våra färdigheter är desto roligare. Ett steg i taget till fullspäckat schema. Det kommer att bli awesome!

Tack för en jättetrevlig kväll Lisa, Carro, Johannes, Dennis, Jessica och Sofia!

Skye

Jag tror inte människor förstår den nystart jag står inför. Jag skulle kunna säga att jag knappt gör det själv men det vore lite av en lögn. Det är så mycket som händer att man knappt kan få in det i ord, och stannar jag upp swirlar det fortfarande runt.

Jag har vetat detta länge, länge.

Nystarten involverar alla plan av min existens. Bara DET känns som ett hedrande till allt jag gjort fram tills nu.

Den är fysisk där jag mått bra, sen dåligt, varit frisk och sjuk och sjukare och nu.. friskare. Men även fysisk i form av flytt till slottet och en 32 årig dröm kommer till uppfyllelse. Förändringar på jobbet. Förändringar i familjen.. Bröllopet nästa år.

Den är känslomässig; att balansera grundläggande överlevnadsinstinkt med ödmjukhet och tålamod och inte minst kärlek. Inte bara inom mig men även runt om mig. MInnen som helats och situationer som förändrats. Ett nytt ställningstagande - mot andra, mot främmande, mot mig själv. Ett givande och tagande i "ny" anda. Ni ska få se..

Den är spirituell med allt vad det innebär. Jag kan få dela med mig, inte bara lite här och där men i större skala.. MYCKET större skala. Det jag tänker, kan och vill; i skrift men också i handlingar och saker. Kreativitet i ny version - iallafall för mig.

Nystart med allt vad det innebär, alltså.

Äntligen!

Skye

I have seen Mornings awaken in Greens, and Purples and Pink, like Star Clusters falling from Space to break the Light nuances of Everyday Life.. Enhancing the experience of Breath. Life can be Beautiful. And there is a goal to reach that Allows us to feel worthy of such a Beauty. Finding it. Breathing is. Living it.

Take it all in. Let all else go.

With birds singing, and a tingling body knowing that I am Invincible. No one can break me unless I have a need or want to be broken. Neurons firing, Re-wiring.. There is no need.
No Guilt.

Electrifying the Change of Patterns and Thoughts.

Believing in my Ability to Create Hope..

Reality seems even more Real, because it is less Real to me than yours; seems more Truthful because it is True to my Own Being; seems more Deep because it is my Depth that is measured.. Relative measurement to a medium of Depths through my Life Experiences; How deep have I drowned before? That’s how deep I know I can come. I choose to not go Deeper.

How high up can I fly? Must try Higher than before. Up. Up.

Again I Stand up!

For I choose to not be Blinded.
Passing the pretenses,
the fake senses,
the periphery of parameters of People
and Life
and the Illusions we wrap ourselves in.

Variables becoming Limitations.
Individualism cannot breathe in isles of copied boxes

I Bathed like angels do
in Purity of my Intentions
in Innocence of my Actions
in Accountability of my Responsibility

Re-Built Wings with Love and Acceptance..

I choose to Love more.

I have seen roads end and new ones built;

patterns of opportunities, possibilities, probabilities cornering the foundation of such a Journey.

Breaths bridging.
Respect bridging.

Compassion illuminating corners,
and dead spots,
and dark lots.

Awake smiling
..humming..
..Realizing..

My world IS as Free as I can Create it to be. As is yours for you.
And I choose to be Free to Create. What do you choose?

Skye

 I Think my Time is Broken, Wingless.

Breathless, Exhausted

Lost.

Overflown, Overwhelmed.

Forgotten.

Washed Away.

My Time is Broken and as I curl up, wrap my arms around myself, there is Nothing whole, nothing solid. It is weeping sensations of pain; unholy corners of something I have never known. A Fear. A Restlessness. A prayer to be relieved of my Sadness. There are rays of Sun shining through the small pieces of lost causes, my Light and Purpose.. Rains bleeding like water through the glass. I have done Everything. Sacrificed in True Depth of my Totality, out of Will. I have walked away out of Loyalty to the Trust I Place in People. I have Stopped out of Trust in my Ability to Rise. I have Listened out of Love. And I have Loved, and Lost and Believed. Today, I found my Time Broken..

...and Crushed.

There are walls of Love and Dreams, ever weaving the Patterns of Possibilities. And a River of Drowning Hope of there being any Probability any of this ever being Healed. Regrets haunt my Senses and there is No Time to say all I want to say. I am Stronger than most people I know, yet strength has No place in a Time lost and frightened. The What If's are annihilating.

I'm shattered all over my Mind, and as soon as I touch any piece to mend, it overwhelms and I bleed; it screams and I cry; It shivers and I break further. When I lay to rest, it awakes me trembling, suffocating.. Haunting words threatening to wipe out Memories I hold so dear, as if they Never happened. As if what was said and done, was done so through faces and paces and phases; of Time, and Emotion, and Intent. My Eyes are so tired of Watching my world fall apart. No safe Shores harbor any Emotion anymore - I am not Safe, anymore. No Known Waters are sustaining my roots anymore. I'm not Alive, anymore.

..Breathe, please.. Fill me with Breath and Will Power..
Life!
Resurrection of my Purpose. I Resurrect out of Love.
Time and Time again, Broken or Not..

Just not Yet.

Such an Infidelity of my Safety, my Love.
Such a Maliciousness to my Innocense.
Such a robbery of my Senses.

I am left Wingless. There is Nothing carrying a Broken Forever.

Don't Touch me in this Moment, because I can't hold the Pain of being Touched and Moved.. and Left. Don't Look at me in this Moment, because I can't stand my pain, my Reflection, my Mirror. Don't Speak to me. Don't speak words that will cause me to Rise.. and Fall..

Don't say there is Amazement in a Heart meant to be Broken.

Don't Lie.
Just Love.

Skye